Two Niños

From infertility to two babes at once, this is my life…

Gotta do better

Posted by Mel on May 30, 2007

We are in the process of selling our house. We’ve had it on the market since early January and have just received our first offer in the last few days. I know, I know – why in hell would we put our house on the market now, especially in early January?? Well, we moved out of town and we had to. Soooo, we knew it would be a marathon, but it still sucks. And the negotiations on this offer we received have been quite strange and anxiety provoking. See, they offered, we countered, they stalled, stalled, and stalled….communicated that they may decide on a different house…and then finally submitted a counter offer. For not much more than the original offer. This all occurred over the span of about 5 days – a bit stressful. We really are ready to sell this house. We aren’t in a bad financial situation, thank goodness, but we are ready. We are renting a tiny place from my uncle right now and its just time.

Now, to the meat of the matter. We finally got their counter offer today. Like I said, it is low and almost insulting, but we are ready to be done. So Alex and I had to discuss and decide whether to accept the offer or not. He called me to talk while I was feeding the babies. So I’m feeding them, have the phone on speaker talking to him, and dealing with fussing and him saying ‘I can’t hear you’ about a million times. He was being annoying, I was frazzled and already anxious about this whole matter, and I lost my patience. I raised my voice at him….and made my baby boy cry. He was scared by my yelling. Ugh – I’m so ashamed.

Alex and I are, let’s just say, passionate in our communication style with each other. He talks loud, I yell at him sometimes, and it is just how we do things. It is certainly not the healthiest, but not a huge deal for us either. It’s just always been that way. But now, it can be no more. We’ve both been making a conscious effort not to raise our voices in front of the babies, but today really hit home. I NEVER want my babies to feel fear caused by me. I NEVER want them to feel insecure in their own home. It broke my heart. There is nothing like tears rolling down your baby’s face to inspire you to do better.

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