Two Niños

From infertility to two babes at once, this is my life…

What a day

Posted by Mel on June 4, 2007

I have a hard time with unpredictable. I like routines and schedules and I’m the queen of anticipation. I’ve tried to infuse my parenting with routines, schedules, and anticipation (to a reasonable degree) and slowly, but surely, we’ve settled into some pretty good rhythms. As any parent of twins will tell you, the schedule is key. For some moms this may be really annoying, having to feed them on a schedule vs when they tell you they are hungry, etc. But for me, it is very comforting to have a schedule. I like knowing what to expect and when. Over the months our schedule has relaxed into more of a routine, which is still fine. We don’t stick to hard times anymore, but we have a routine flow to our day and the babies know what to expect and so do I.

Now here is the big BUT – it seems like just when we settle into a very workable, highly functional routine, something changes. Just when I think I’ve figured out how to handle certain behaviors and what certain actions mean, something new comes up. These changes were pretty often and pretty major early on. For example, the feeding schedules, the napping schedules, etc. As the babies have gotten older, the magnitude of these changes has lessened. Now they are mostly smaller shifts in their behavior or needs – but still can be disruptive when they happen. This is a very tough part of parenting for me. I can’t recount how many times I’ve said ‘but they didn’t do this yesterday, something must be wrong’. I’ve finally started to learn that they are ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS and are never going to be completely predictable. Just because they drank all of their milk at lunch yesterday does not mean they are going to today. Even when the day has been exactly the same as yesterday. Regardless of how much their environment is regulated, there are going to be unexpected or unanticipated reactions or behaviors. But still – it’s hard for me. Something I’ve never been good at, so a big (forced) learning experience. I’m slowly but surely learning to roll with the punches a little better.

BUT THEN, you have a day like today. Where all hell breaks loose. Things can be rolling along fine for days, weeks, possibly even a couple of months and then you have one of these days. You know, where one baby won’t nap – and when they finally try to, the other wakes up. Where you have eight million things to do during naptime that are really important and time sensitive. Where bedtime, which has been very predictable for a really long time suddenly doesn’t work so well anymore. These days are rough. The sheer occurrance of a day like this is bad enough, but the really bad part is the fear that now all days are going to be like today. The fear of regression can drive you crazy. Sure, a bad day can be just that – A bad day. But, it could also mean that bedtime is going to suck from now on. And I think that is the most stressful part to me – the fear of regression. It generally turns out to be unfounded, but it sure can wreak havoc on my mind.

But, I’m tired, so thoughts of regression be damned. I’m looking forward to tomorrow being a better day…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: