Two Niños

From infertility to two babes at once, this is my life…

Archive for the ‘twins’ Category

My kids are walking!

Posted by Mel on July 11, 2007

My babies are walking! Here we are, two days away from their first birthday, and they are on overdrive with the new skills lately. They have both been taking a few steps here and there since they were about 11 months, but now my girl, E, is pretty much walking wherever she wants to go. She hardly crawls anymore – and she has progressed to this state mainly in the last week. And my boy D, he isn’t quite as mobile as E yet, but he is initiating walking on his own and taking several steps at a time. And they both are able to stand themselves up without pulling up onto anything. Yeah for my babes!

Ok, I’m done bragging. Or really, I’m more just in awe. We’ve come a long way in a year’s time. It is so very fun to see them becoming little people.

And things are moving along with the new house. We have been having lots of work done over the last couple of weeks – redoing all of the ceilings, painting the whole house, carpet in next week. And it is coming together as quickly as possible. I’m really looking forward to moving in – we need our own space again.

So really, the only crappy thing right now is that Alex is STILL gone. He has been gone for over a week now and it is taking a toll. He is supposed to come home tomorrow and I am very much looking forward to it. We have had several stupid fights this week, all attributable to the frustration of being apart for so long. Long for us, at least.

So, that about wraps up this boring little post. I’m trying to get some inspiration…hopefully it will make its way to me soon.

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My little ones

Posted by Mel on June 19, 2007

Over the last couple of weeks, D has become quite a little chatter box. He will attempt many words (as long as they are simple) that you speak to him. Here are the words he is ‘saying’ now (some only once, but he said them!):

– dada – this is by far his favorite word. It is used as a noun, verb, adjective, etc. and it works really great in all situations. He does, however, know that dada is Daddy.

– daddy – a variation on dada but much less utilized

– mama – reserved for moments of deep concentration or agitation. I’m not quite sure he really knows who mama is, but I believe in my heart.

– dog – pronounced “dod” or “dah” – he knows what a dog is. Should I be offended? He loves dogs.

– Uh oh – pronounced “UH…o” (sometimes without the o). But he does say this at appropriate times usually. Like when he hurls his spoon over the side of the high chair…UH…o.

– grandma – prounounced “nannaw”. He certainly knows who grandma is and when you ask him ‘where’s grandma’ he immediately looks to the door or window (if she’s not here).

– hi – prounounced “iiiiiiiii” with the exact intonation that I use when I say it to them. It is a bit freaky that they can mimic you so precisely. I better start watching the @#$#$L’s.

– bye bye – this is a new one. He repeats it, but I don’t think he has said it spontaneously yet when waving bye bye.

– no no – this is a new one too. He is very precise about rounding his lips to get the ‘o’ of no out. Um, maybe he’s heard me say this one too many times?

He has also attempted a few more (like please, more, and thank you) but they have not been said well or often enough to count yet. But it is fun. He is progressing by leaps and bounds and it is amazing to watch.

E is not quite as chatty as D yet, but she has started mimicking alot. Here are some of the funny things she is doing now:

– when you say ‘are you gonna be 1’ and hold up one finger, she will hold up her first finger and smile really big.

– when you are doing the above, if you bend your finger up and down, she will do it back to you.

– if you say ‘no, no’ and shake your finger accordingly, she will start shaking her finger back at you. Today, she was spitting her food at me for like 15 minutes during lunch. I told her ‘no, no’ and shook my finger (somewhat playfully). She started mimicking me, which makes it very hard to be stern, and D started saying ‘no, no’. It was pretty darn funny.

– this one is hard to describe, but if you stick your tongue in and out of your mouth and make noises while you are doing it, she will do the same right back. This one has provided me endless opportunities for laughter. It is just hilarious.

It is fun lately, watching them learn and change. They are definitely developing their own personalities and temperaments. We have had a few (albeit short-lived) temper tantrums already – arched backs and everything. As everyone always says to me (and boy do I love these nuggets of wisdom) – “just wait until they start doing – [insert next developmental milestone here] you are going to have your hands full!!” Um yes, I will – but I’m getting pretty good at juggling.

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What a day

Posted by Mel on June 4, 2007

I have a hard time with unpredictable. I like routines and schedules and I’m the queen of anticipation. I’ve tried to infuse my parenting with routines, schedules, and anticipation (to a reasonable degree) and slowly, but surely, we’ve settled into some pretty good rhythms. As any parent of twins will tell you, the schedule is key. For some moms this may be really annoying, having to feed them on a schedule vs when they tell you they are hungry, etc. But for me, it is very comforting to have a schedule. I like knowing what to expect and when. Over the months our schedule has relaxed into more of a routine, which is still fine. We don’t stick to hard times anymore, but we have a routine flow to our day and the babies know what to expect and so do I.

Now here is the big BUT – it seems like just when we settle into a very workable, highly functional routine, something changes. Just when I think I’ve figured out how to handle certain behaviors and what certain actions mean, something new comes up. These changes were pretty often and pretty major early on. For example, the feeding schedules, the napping schedules, etc. As the babies have gotten older, the magnitude of these changes has lessened. Now they are mostly smaller shifts in their behavior or needs – but still can be disruptive when they happen. This is a very tough part of parenting for me. I can’t recount how many times I’ve said ‘but they didn’t do this yesterday, something must be wrong’. I’ve finally started to learn that they are ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS and are never going to be completely predictable. Just because they drank all of their milk at lunch yesterday does not mean they are going to today. Even when the day has been exactly the same as yesterday. Regardless of how much their environment is regulated, there are going to be unexpected or unanticipated reactions or behaviors. But still – it’s hard for me. Something I’ve never been good at, so a big (forced) learning experience. I’m slowly but surely learning to roll with the punches a little better.

BUT THEN, you have a day like today. Where all hell breaks loose. Things can be rolling along fine for days, weeks, possibly even a couple of months and then you have one of these days. You know, where one baby won’t nap – and when they finally try to, the other wakes up. Where you have eight million things to do during naptime that are really important and time sensitive. Where bedtime, which has been very predictable for a really long time suddenly doesn’t work so well anymore. These days are rough. The sheer occurrance of a day like this is bad enough, but the really bad part is the fear that now all days are going to be like today. The fear of regression can drive you crazy. Sure, a bad day can be just that – A bad day. But, it could also mean that bedtime is going to suck from now on. And I think that is the most stressful part to me – the fear of regression. It generally turns out to be unfounded, but it sure can wreak havoc on my mind.

But, I’m tired, so thoughts of regression be damned. I’m looking forward to tomorrow being a better day…

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Gotta do better

Posted by Mel on May 30, 2007

We are in the process of selling our house. We’ve had it on the market since early January and have just received our first offer in the last few days. I know, I know – why in hell would we put our house on the market now, especially in early January?? Well, we moved out of town and we had to. Soooo, we knew it would be a marathon, but it still sucks. And the negotiations on this offer we received have been quite strange and anxiety provoking. See, they offered, we countered, they stalled, stalled, and stalled….communicated that they may decide on a different house…and then finally submitted a counter offer. For not much more than the original offer. This all occurred over the span of about 5 days – a bit stressful. We really are ready to sell this house. We aren’t in a bad financial situation, thank goodness, but we are ready. We are renting a tiny place from my uncle right now and its just time.

Now, to the meat of the matter. We finally got their counter offer today. Like I said, it is low and almost insulting, but we are ready to be done. So Alex and I had to discuss and decide whether to accept the offer or not. He called me to talk while I was feeding the babies. So I’m feeding them, have the phone on speaker talking to him, and dealing with fussing and him saying ‘I can’t hear you’ about a million times. He was being annoying, I was frazzled and already anxious about this whole matter, and I lost my patience. I raised my voice at him….and made my baby boy cry. He was scared by my yelling. Ugh – I’m so ashamed.

Alex and I are, let’s just say, passionate in our communication style with each other. He talks loud, I yell at him sometimes, and it is just how we do things. It is certainly not the healthiest, but not a huge deal for us either. It’s just always been that way. But now, it can be no more. We’ve both been making a conscious effort not to raise our voices in front of the babies, but today really hit home. I NEVER want my babies to feel fear caused by me. I NEVER want them to feel insecure in their own home. It broke my heart. There is nothing like tears rolling down your baby’s face to inspire you to do better.

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On the mend

Posted by Mel on May 24, 2007

I think we are all on the mend (except maybe for Alex…he wasn’t feeling well yesterday). No fevers for two days now and eating and sleeping better. Yeah! We are still having a bit of trouble at night – D wants to be held when he wakes up. I think he is teething like crazy. His first tooth just popped through recently (not until he was almost 10 months!) and he must be working on another. He seems to be more sensitive to these things than E. She has two teeth already and never really had any major issues. But anyway, we were up for about an hour last night, but that is much better than the 2.5 hours the night before.

The babies are cracking me up these days. They are growing so fast and becoming little people. Such distinct personalities. E is a busybody – headstrong, determined, and independent. D is more of a cuddle bunny. He is stubborn and sensitive. Yet I find that there is no pigeonholing these two. E IS very independent, but she is more wary of new people and when she gets hurt, she wants her Mama! D is more sensitive but he adapts to new situations well and can be quite friendly to strangers. They both make me so proud I can hardly stand it.

I was thinking yesterday how much easier things are now. The first few months with two infants was hellish. Very, very difficult. We certainly have our challenges now, but things are very manageable. We get around well, I can handle the babies by myself in most situations, and we have adapted to this life. People make comments when we travel like ‘boy, you are brave’ – but not really. We are just living the life that we have and adapting and learning along the way. It really has just gotten better and better. So any parents of newborn twins out there – it does get better, I promise! There is a turning point at 3 months and then another one probably around 6 months. I had a hard time seeing a light at the end of the tunnel but trust me, it is there. It’s actually fun now!

Ok, off to clean up the million toys on the floor…

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We are home

Posted by Mel on May 22, 2007

We are home from our 6 day trip to Chicago. It was quite enjoyable. We are all battling colds now, but overall it was a very successful trip. Travelling with children is always a bit difficult, but I believe it is magnified with infant twins. The hardest part is the plane, although where you stay is a big factor too. We did alot of things right this time (after learning from our first trip to Chicago back in January) – I think I will put a post together with tips for travelling with twins. Need to think about it for a bit to make sure I include all the good stuff.

So like I said, we are all dealing with a cold we picked up in Chicago. This is really the first time the babies have been sick. E handled it well and quickly, D not so much. He had a rough day yesterday – fever up to 102.6, some vomiting, and a restless night. Forget sleep for me – I put a pallet down in the babies’ room and ‘slept’ on the floor, about a foot from the end of D’s bed. The fever didn’t scare me that much (although he did feel like a little fire ball) but the vomiting kind of freaked me out. I was so worried he would be dehydrated on top of the fever. But he woke up this morning in good spirits and the fever had come down so hopefully he is on the mend. It is such a bad feeling when your babies don’t feel well. They are so pathetic and you are so helpless to help them. I think it is probably worse at this age, too, because they can’t communicate to you how they are feeling or what is wrong. But we are muddling through…I’m learning and they are learning to deal with me :-).

So that’s about it – hopefully more recovery for the next day or two and trying to get back into our routine. We have a new baby pool that’s just itching for some cute little babies to float around in it…

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